Ok Sandi i ask you this as a women would you even care about what might happen to your children if you did divorce your husband?
I would think the majority of women "cae" what happens to their children. But the problem is...she is deep in a fantasy where she sees herself and the children so much better off in her "make belief" world she's created.
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Do you belive that people should be educated on thes facts.
Of course I do! However, if your W in involved in an A then it is difficult for her to be teachable. It's like leading a horse to water....you can't make the horse drink it. It's my personal belief that a WAW would be more teachable about the facts when delivered from another person, b/c she has built a wall to keep whatever you say out.
I'm just saying that most of the H's try to verbalize all this information in an attempt to stop the W from leaving the M. But she has so much negative feelings toward him, that it gets in the way of her "learning" from his verbal attempts to educate her.
I think that carefully chosen statements that are thought out in advance...can be "responses" to things the WAW may thow at you. Short but packed with hard punches. What I try to tell LBH's is that when it begins to sound as if he is so much better than she is.....and if it begans to sound like a sermon, you've lost her b/c she will rebel against it, simply b/c it came from "you".
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
