The saga continues

[OfficerInNeed]

Yesterday:

W was running late for work and asked if I could help her downstairs getting things together. I assisted W gather her things for work. As W was leaving I said "bye" and W said same in return.

While W was at work I started to do some work around the house preparing for the 26th. I then took a break to let the dog out back and filled up the dog's little pool. I was fooling around with the dog in the backyard as W returned home from work. W watched us from the back door and after I spotted her she came out.

W then went back in to change and returned. We each started to play with the dog with water. It then turned into a mini water war.

We eventually called it quits and headed inside. We had noticed we are getting new neighbors. W and I started to talk about how it is good to see neighbors move in that have kids. I made the comment "I think those are the grandparents" and W replied "It is possible but some people do have children later in life" and I said "true, I want to have children while I am still young". W then looked at me and said "you're 27, you'll be 28 this year, lets say YOU have a child when you're 30, when that child turns 10 you'll be 40" and I said "never knew 40 was 'too old'" and W just shrugged her shoulders.

So now W thinks I am getting 'too old' to have children. W is only 2 years younger than I am. W was had EA with someone 10 years older than she is. This really bothered me. there are many things I wanted to say but refrained from doing so because it would not help in any case.

W expressed how she had a terrible head ache. W wanted to rest for a bit before we left and got the remaining items on our list for the 26th.

W went to bed and asked that I wake her up in a half hour. 40 min had passed I let W know but she was still not feeling so well, she now had a migraine headache.

W was just prescribed new meds for migraines and so she took a pill. W was laying in bed across rather then how you would normally lay in a bed. I sat in bed going over our list of things to do and eventually laid back myself resting my head on W. W did not oppose or nudge me away as she had in the past (I had not tried such a thing in a few months). I decided to take it a step further and place my had on W's. W immediately balled her fist and pulled away. W said "It's too warm" and then rolled over. I got up and decided to go do some more work around the house.

Some time had past W still sleeping. W did not get any better and so she decided she was not up to doing anything today. I continued the work I was doing, finished up on a few things and decided to relax. Once again I laid in bed, rest head on W with no objection.

W eventually woke up, we sat up in bed talking (about how W felt, things I had accomplished ect..) as we were talking I had my arm rested on W's leg with no objection.

W had got out of bed, still suffering from her headache and took a look at what I had done and helped clean up some around the house before she went to shower.

We came out shower laid in bed, we watched a little TV and she went to bed.

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I don't know if what I did was pursuit. I can remember back when our sitch first began and I did the same things with the same reaction from W. She allowed it but it was not reciprocated. This is even before I discovered DR and this forum.

After a while W started to nudge me away or get aggravated when I made such attempts. Eventually I got the point and after reading DR stopped doing it all together up till last night.

For so long I'd refrain from doing things out of fear of pressuring my W and I took a risk today, although she did not object I am concerned it was pressure.

I don't want W to think that I think everything is OK between us that I can just do these things...

Also I know I should be spending less time with my W and doing more things on my own and I will. At least for now and up till the 26th I cannot step around doing things with the W.