The journey begins

[ClingingToHope]

Journaling:

Last night I went to a minor league baseball game to do an eating challenge for the newspaper I work for.

I tried to down three of the most popular items on the menu -- total calories of 7,000.

I got down to two onion rings and just couldn't finish. Another bite and I think I would have puked.

We're turning it into a video. Dozens of fans stopped by to see how I was doing. The TV stations were there and shot me and I was on at least two of the stations. It was fun.

And the 31-year-old from the church group showed up with a female friend. I've been out of the dating game too long to know for sure, but we keep texting back and forth. I'm not sure if she just considers me a friend or is open to something more.

I'd like to find out, but I'm holding back because I don't want to screw things up with the church group since they have several fun things set for the summer and I'm still married.

After failing the challenge, I sat with her for a few minutes and just felt awful. I didn't want to throw up in front of her so I sat with another friend and then headed home.

We texted back and forth yesterday and today and she said it was fun. At the very, very least it's nice to have a single female to interact with.

Today, Wednesday, my night with the girls and all went great up until bedtime. I let them stay up too late and D11 got whiny. D7 could tell and she kept picking at D11. D11 was about to blow up when I jumped in and probably overreacted, but I can't have a big loud fight between the two at midnight.

So D11 went to bed mad and I feel badly about it. We'll see how things are in the morning.

The only things from STBXW this week has been a phone call on Monday because she didn't know how to register D7 for a summer camp. I always took care of all this. Also, one response to one of my emails but no response to a second one.

D11 keeps talking about the house selling process. They don't seem down about it. She really has them believing they'll just go from the family home to a smaller one. Her mom must be pledging to help. For years, STBXW has complained about her younger sister sponging off her mom and now MIL has chipped in on the divorce and ... I'm not sure what else. I wonder if she sees the irony? I doubt it.

I still haven't called my L to discuss last week's letter from STBXW's L. I guess I have no desire to rush. Every point in the process as soon as I've gotten something I hurried up and called or emailed. Now ... why hurry?