Sorry, PDT. I didn't know what to do with your last. And my thoughts were not kind. A little emotional, I guess. BUT I HAVE BEEN SAVED!! Completely by accident, no less.
I stumbled across the Hello Kittyfish and Sand2 thread for Big John. Good Lord! I'm only at p4 and I have added two entire pages of quotes to my "I am here" document where I keep my little excerpts for guidance.
DROP THE ROPE, STUPID!!!!
It's funny that I came across it because I was thinking today if it even mattered about the affair or not. If she doesn't figure it out, why would I be interested in havin her back. And, just as strange, she came out on the deck to have a smoke with me and started off on "her day" and I found myself thinking "So what".
I started toward the door back in midsentence. She kept going but I heard D looking for W so I went in and closed the door.
And when D wanted M, I said "OK. Go see mom" and went back to my laptop and finished an email. W brought D over for Goodnight and that was that.
And that's when I found it!!
Wow, do I feel better now. Between what I now believe is "getting it" and the strength I felt Monday night, Ihaven't felt this good in 6 weeks or more.
I don't know how I'll deal with her physical invitations when they occur but I'd like some suggestions. All I could come up with is "You should see a doctor, maybe"
I'm not even sure if I'm gonna bother spending the 100 bucks for the GPS phone ti see where she's going other than making sure D isn't in contact with the A.
Am I on the right track or over-reacting? The emotional rollercoaster of the last couple weeks tends to make my strategies and thoughts do the same.
