Need some advice with WAH

[Swiss Miss]

I can't believe it's been two and a half months since all that happened. I had a conversation with WH a few days later but he claimed I misinterpreted what he said about not rushing into things (a divorce) or being happy with me some day. He's still involved with OW as far as I know, but I've never once gotten the impression that he's "in love" with her, more very good friends with benefits? At this point I would like a divorce since I cannot go back to him the way he was and he's still involved with OW, not to mention he's said nothing about any uncertainty and I really have no choice in the matter anyway.

So I cut him off even more so he couldn't hurt me anymore with his A, but a month ago we had a two hour conversation until late in the night after something came up with OW and we texted a couple times and then he called me to talk (an acquaintance figured out the A). I wasn't eager to share a lot of information and tried to get off the phone about five or six times but he kept asking me to keep talking. Some R talk, but more about my life now and our families. I know I should ask more about his life but I'm happier knowing as little as possible with OW involved. He did mention that I never send texts or emails about my feelings about the divorce/affair anymore, maybe he misses them? Surely not. And he's said a few times that he's not happy.

I am pretty much over the anger and hurt of WH's affair and his leaving. I bought the abandonment book everyone talks about because I thought I was doing too well and in denial or something but it turns out I've been through all the stages so I think I'm okay, but I guess time will tell! Every time I soften up WH shows a lot of interest, so I softened up a little a couple weeks ago because I was tired of being so standoffish and H has gone back to standing too close, asking about my life, etc. again. He's clearly trying to reconnect some but I don't know if he even knows it. I ignore it when he starts ogling again, I don't know if he wants me to see or if he thinks I can't tell. He even asked me if I appreciated that he'd stopped.

This week I asked if he'd like to take our son to lunch while I had an appointment near H's work (I never refuse when he asks to see S outside of regular visitation times but I rarely offer more, he gets him every weekend and sees him midweek), and afterwards they went to a video arcade and he asked if I'd pick S up there. H was very friendly to me, complimentary about my appearance, found me a game he thought I'd like (he was right), and managed to touch me to show me how to play and give me a quick pat on the behind as he walked away. I still cannot believe he did that, but didn't mention it. It is way over the line for our current relationship.

Then he wanted to talk about doing the divorce paperwork. I have no real problems starting the paperwork, I think it will be good for him to face the reality of the situation and I actually want a divorce from the man he is now. We got into an R talk, at his prodding (I didn't see this one coming until I was in the middle of it) and I came off as way too "on board" with the divorce. I've been happier and more at peace than I have in years (maybe ever) without his negativity, and I don't think he's changed, and even if he has, he's still involved with OW. He always wants to know my feelings when we get into these talks and I tried to walk off to stop it a few times but he'd follow me and touch my arm and prod me to continue.

So now he's coming over tomorrow to my place to work on the parenting plan. He's more than clear that there will be no hanky panky after he was caught leaving the hotel with OW, but he clearly has a lot of attraction towards me (he always did but I also look better than I ever have in my life, I think that's the best thing women can do in this situation. Also helps with external validation from other men, you need some at times like these!). I send him a flirty glance or smile every once in a while and there is a lot of sexual tension between us (he feels we're incompatible sexually since I was completely emotionally unengaged by the end).

I feel if I bring up any level of doubt about the divorce that will give him all the power back and he'll just reiterate why we have to. In fact, he did that yesterday even though I said nothing against the divorce (said we were meant to be together to have our S but not to live together. I did say that no kid is meant to go through this). I feel like he wanted me to express some doubt or ask for us to try to work things out, and when I mentioned finding a new man he actually cringed. But he's doing all the pursuing, and it seems to be working.

So, if anyone answers, should I say anything about being open to reconciliation if he changes? The whole thing is so weird, it doesn't seem like some of the other situations in which the cheating spouse can't see their spouse because of OP. It's funny to want a divorce and yet not be able to give up the ghost, I guess because of our son. I don't want to be the one who stands in the way of reconciliation, but there's not much I can do, either.