I've been off the boards for a few weeks but had to come and catch up on your sitch. I am cheering you on! You have so much on your plate right now. It's hard to make decisions and sort out feelings on so many fronts.
I hope you can find some solid advice for your son's education and therapy. These funding and resource issues are very overwhelming to navigate and it's usually left up to the parents to figure it out. It's frustrating to have to spend your own resources seeking a diagnosis.
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1. I am too vulnerable to have that convo with a stone and 2. I don't want him to have the satisfaction of knowing what I'm thinking and feeling.