Like Grace said, going dark, is something that you do for you. For self protection, to remove yourself from the drama, and to give yourself the time and space that YOU need to heal.
LRT-IMO that is a state of mind more than a techinque. It is throwing down the gauntlet so to speak. It is an ultimatium.
It is NOT something you want to do, unless you are ready to accept the outcome no matter what it is.
Because your H, very well could say, "ok I will file" instead of making the choice to work on the M, which, at this point is what you want.
Questions that I ask, are not trying to be cruel, are not trying to convince you of anything one way or the other.
I, and no one else here, can or should, tell you what decision you should make about the outcome of your M. Only you can make that decision.
However, something those of us who have been her a while have learned, sometimes through being challenged in much the same way, is that the only way to really be able to make any decisions that are not later filled with tons of regret, is to do the work, look at the hard things, and work on healing.
Otherwise, as Grit pointed out, Bitterville isn't too far away.
I am glad to see that you have read about some of H's issues and are working towards understanding them.
I am also very glad to see you thinking about some of the things that you have wanted to ignore. (Which would be easier for now, but would come back to bite you in the butt later).
Irish, you can do this. Just the fact that you really want to says a lot to me. About you, your character, your commitment.
I would suggest that boundaries about contact for now might not be a bad idea if they will serve you in YOUR process.
LRT, probably not the route you want to take at this point.
Your healing, will benefit not only you, but your children and all interactions you have with all people in the future.
Have a good evening.
"Acceptance doesn't mean resignation. It means understanding that something is what it is and there's got to be a way through it."--Michael J. Fox
