Just to clarify some facts in my sitch- the only reason stbxh stayed with me after the birth was because of pre-arranged paternity leave. It was not for our relationship and I never was led to believe he was leaving OW. He only admitted to considering reconciliation.
Oh wow. thanks for the clarification. I can't help but compare and reference our sitches... I admire your stregnth and really value your opinion since you went through it... and now piano and gatsby too.
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But here's the thing- other marriage counselors out there say this- if the initial motivation to come back is FOR the baby, then at least he is coming back! And then the 2 of you reconnect and the initial reason was just a jumping board so to speak. But guilt tripping him and using the baby is not a good idea! He will resent you for it (IMO). Not that you would do that!
Wow, never heard that. I know MWD says Children are a reason for parents to work things out... and I couldnt agree more. I definitely can not guilt trip him. not really my style anyway i do think if he did it for the wrong reasons he wouldnt be happy, and we'd be right back where we are now. That scares me too. Whole other story...
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And about letting him be the father-- well remember, BD, that he wants to be a "part time" dad. I really wish I had put this into perspective for my stbxh. Part time dads get to be with their child, well, part time! Hey, it is what he wants! SOunds harsh, but it will help set your son up for your son's reality as well, you know?
Very true! this is the part where i dont think H will accept or like. But reality is he will be a part time father. He set himself up for this! not me!
i do think if he did it for the wrong reasons he wouldnt be happy, and we'd be right back where we are now. That scares me too. Whole other story... 
