So my point is he wants me as a friend. He doesn't have too many other than OW and he cut off his friends once he started his A. I strangely feel a little bad for him but luckily my mental health isn't that messed up where I am giving him my friendship while he is divorcing me. No more DBing, only self preservation at this time. So I can feel a little bad but not enough to sacrifice my needs.
I know exactly how you feel. My H has been doing the same thing for the past few weeks. My H was very few friends as well. My H emailed me the other day- "I hope you had a nice week off and your father is doing well". My H hasn't moved in with OW but has gotten his own apartment. The other week after closing on my mortgage he asked how I was doing..I responded a quick 'good'. I asked how he was and he responded...'ah'. Then he proceeded to ask if he should call my family and say something..he never had a chance to say anything to them. WTF.
As he was over tonight picking up some more of his stuff..he asks "How is your father doing?"..I told him that we can't be friends...he asked why. I just said that we can't.
He sent a text later saying that he felt lousy.
It is so difficult. I feel like being friends with the stbx is saying what he did was OK. It isn't OK. What qualities do they have that you would want in a friend? Honesty- nope. Respectful- nope. Loyalty- nope.
It is so hard to accept that a man you were sharing your life with, sleeping with, raising a child with (in your case)..has become a complete stranger. I think the situation could be so different if our H's walked away and treated us with respect in the process perhaps.
On the other hand...it isn't healthy to harbor resentment..and forgiveness is for us too. right? At least this what I read about all the time. Self preservation. I can relate.
