The school is gated? Who gives a sh!t about gated, buy your kid a gun and teach her to use it, it's a cheaper alternative. As an American citizen she has a constitutional right to bare arms or is that to have bare arms, I can never get that straight. But, on second thought, how about throwing one of those Taser parties and buy her one of the pink models, maybe one with Hannah Montana on the handle. Less prison time for you if she messes up with a Taser. So there you go, I've solved another problem for you! Aren't you glad I dropped by tonight? Who knows what other kind of crazy advice people might have given you without me at your side!
