Well, came back from a visit with the kids for a short while and then a couple hours at my new place tearing out an old utility room and prepping it for a washer/dryer install.
Got a little satisfaction today while visiting kids at WAW's and EX's .
Their twins have always treated me as " Daddy" for as long as I've known them ( 14 years). Its killing me not to see or talk to them and the WAW had promised she would make sure I did get to see them and spend time with them, especially Harley, who I was very close to. So I asked them if they wanted to go for a walk around the block. Sara said " I'll pass " and left the room, she's always been the moodier of the two so this wasnt a terrible suprise. Harley wanted to go but had to ask her father, who promptly said NO. So he's already acting like a A hole, which Im sure will be a source of some tension.
So I took my infant son outside just holding him and talking to him and me and the WAW had a couple minutes of privacy, but no conversation other then dumb stuff. Then Mr Ex appears and its painfully obvious he's finding all kinds of "busy work" to do to keep himself within ear shot of us. I just smiled on the inside that I was making him uncomfortable and spent about 45 mins holding and rocking my son. WAW even avoided being to near me and tried to find things to distract herself with.
We had originally agreed I could see the kids everyday if I wanted to, of course I would do it regardless, but knowing its creating tension for him is a nice little bonus. Still going to be a LONG process and still definetly feel the pressure of being in a "race" with him for her heart, especially since she wont spend ANY time with just me and the kids yet. I know what she's doing, trying to bury feelings for me as quickly as possible.
But our counseling sessions for DD start next week, then there's the Fourth Of July parade and fireworks , then DD'd Bday a couple weeks after that. I'll be done my job retraining by the end of July and hopefully working full time by August. I KNOW he cant be doing terribly well financially, which will only add more stress, especially if i land the job I hope to that pays 1k a week gross, which frees up LOTS of extra cash for me to splurge in doing stuff with the kids. Here's hoping the walls are at least starting to crack by the end of the summer.
August 18th is our Anniversary, ironically the day after the EX's Bday. So there's lots of opportunities and situations over the next couple months to create issue's for them. Still resigning myself to the likelyhood of this being a 3 year exile. But I can do that, my kids deserve at least that much from me, so I can look them in the eye later and tell them I did EVERYTHING humanly possible to fix WAW and I's sitch.
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