Ultimately you have to search yourself for whats best for you in your sitch. I'm just pointing some things out.
What you have to figure out is what gives you strength (not for your M, but for your life) and makes you feel really good about who you are. That's tough. We can tend to look outside ourselves for answers that only we have.
Going dark could be an LRT, it isn't the only one. Remember that LRT's aren't ploy's or tricks.
If you truly aren't trying to punish, don't worry about how your actions are perceived. If you aren't sure b/c of fear, take the time you need to figure it out. If that means setting up a firm schedule for visitation and either not seeing him or keeping it to a minimum b/c you are busy and have things to take care of....namely you, then do that.
If you con't take care of you mentally and physically, you can't take care of anyone else esp S. I know how hard it is. You can do it.
