So, Dan called at 4:45 to see how Nathan was feeling and whether they had baseball practice tonight (REALLY? The kid has a fever!)...and to see if I had Sydney or if she was at daycare for picking-up purposes.
Anyway Nathan overheard me mention baseball (no practice tonight),and was bawling when I got off the phone. I asked why. He said he was afraid to practice baseball with his dad in case he would hit him!?! I know he had the bad dream earlier, but seriously!
I said, "Honey, has your dad ever kicked you?" He said "No." I said, "Has he hit you?" And Nathan said, "Kinda." He has grabbed him by the shoulder roughly or pushed/pulled at him before, as in (push) "Go get your backpack" or (pull) "Come and listen to me when I am talking to you" but he has never ever hit him that I am aware of...
Anyway Nathan said he hates when his Dad yells at him, he doesn't want to practice,etc. I said, "Do you still like baseball?" because I don't want that ruined for him. He said yes but after his dream he was afraid to practice with his dad.
Then he asked me, "Can't you talk to Daddy about not yelling at me like you did when I was trying to ride my bike?"
So minutes later Dan got there and Nathan's eyes were all red from crying. I said we needed to talk (bc I didn't want Nathan to try and talk to him and not feel like his dad heard him). I said Nathan had a very bad dream this morning. Then Nathan said, "I was playing baseball and not hitting good and you kicked me and hit me and yelled at me."
Dan's face looked like Nathan had started flying, I mean he looked that surprised. I stepped in and said, "Now Nathan said he is scared to practice with you bc he thinks you are going to get mad at him and yell at him."
As I was talking Nathan's face crumpled and he started bawling. Dan told him to come over to him and he did and Dan wrapped him in a hug, Nathan was just crying and holding his dad. Dan said, "Have I ever hit you or kicked you? Don't I tell you when you do a good job?" All said in a soft soothing voice but he deflected it all, said he would never hurt Nathan, he just needs to pay attention some times that's all, that he was proud of him and he could play very well, etc etc. Nathan was shaking and I think Dan was totally shocked by it all.
After a minute or two of squeezing and back-rubbing Dan stood back up and they got ready to leave. I hope it sinks in a little. I do not want Nathan afraid of his own dad...
