Detach vs Affair bust Allen A, Puppy please help!

[knightinneed]

Previous Situation in Newcomers: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2009338#Post2009338

Hello everyone after reading many posts by Allen A and Puppy, it seems the attitude are a bit different then the advice that is the norm on the other boards. Essentially I was using the Allen A method, and I successfully busted an affair my wife was having with her bosses son.

I had alot of help from OM1's Wife (wife of bosses son) and well she and I have forged a friendship and she lets me know what WAW is up too if anything over there now, she is still distanced and upset about my WAW and her Hub, but is committed to Testify for me for the sake of My DD1.


Now after this affair was busted, my WAW was rather upset as I had learned some new Intel yesterday regarding possible plans they had. My WAW has said she was getting a house, and well I found out from OM1' W that his husband had started to lease a house while he was separated from his Wife.

Luckily after the affair busted, he decided against this, moved from his moms home where my WAW is living to his dad's and now is going to reconcile with his wife, or at least try.

Now WAW was obviously very upset and broke a No-contact order we have in place by CPS. She messaged me on myspace, knew what I had done, and also had mentioned what I told a former mutual friend regarding handling the D gently. Such as (Shared Custody - No Child support - We try to be friends) Well, during that conversation we had I said I wanted to work on the marriage, and that if she didnt I was going to seek Full custody of my daughter.

She went ballistic made threats against my dad and other daughter from prev relationship. She is extremely upset due to the fact our DD1 is now with my sister as a guardian due to her stupid behavior.

I had mentioned this to my therapist, whom said I HAVE to TELL CPS. Which I did, not sure if it ever got back to WAW, because our CPS worker never returns calls, and never returned my therapists calls either. Go figure!


Any way after this I learned that WAW has been talking to a few diffrent men, and well began to date another for about a week. She had posted pics of herself and him having breakfast etc... As he is a pro photographer, she also created a fake profile that he obviously helped her with. I did some checking and found out who he was.

I sent him a message, and advised him to back off and that I would file a restraining order on him in regards to my DD1. It worked, he messaged back said he was not interested anymore didnt want the hassle, and that my WAW was a unfit parent and he also said she surrounds herself with all these guyfriends on facebook, so buddy i am the least of your worries and I am done with her.

Well OM1's Wife called, WAW's boss seen where this Photogragher guy flamed my WAW on her WALL and said she was crazy and didnt need to be a mother, and that her husband contacted me etc... For all her friends to see. He did some exposing of himself for me. Whattya know.

Well, anyway shortly after this OM1's Wife called and gave me some new intel. She advised WAW told her boss, that alot of this behavior has been due to her wanting to " Draw me Out" so Ill do something stupid. If we dont settle in mediation, it is going to be ugly for to get custody of DD1 as she has some real mental issues, no good witnesses, and a prior arrest for assault against me where DD1 was taken from her.

Now WAW is hellbent against me and is obviously so resentful and seething that she is really exhibiting very bad decision making. I have been detached, making my changes, 180s GAL all that good stuff, and well If i lose I lose her. I will still go for full custody for DD1.

I pretty much decided to DETACH, Go DARK, blocked her facebook, etc... After these 2 flings were busted.

Low and behold, on her profile before I blocked it a 3rd guy, one who is a definite predator, as he had messaged my wife when were together in the family home. I had asked her to remove him from facebook, and to delete his message with phone number in it. Anyone that would ask to hang out with a married woman is a snake.

Well anyway more intel - OM`1's Wife let me know, WAWs boss came home and this new OM2 was there on a DD1s visitation day, and was actually playing with my DD1. This guy smokes weed like a train, works as a lowly barback at some crap bar, and is not someone I want my precious DD1 around.

So, she is definitely dating this scumbag, and I hate to say it a major part of it I am sure is to draw me out with this news, since I ran him off. Another thing is well I know a bunch of Scumbag OM2 friends as I used to hang at the same bar where he does, but now I choose not to go there well also I just dont drink much anymore.

I def have avenues to bust on this but It seems I have pushed WAW so far away, it has become some sick game to one up each other. She knows I want to fight for the marriage, and well to be honest SHE HAS NOT FILED though telling everyone she would 2-3 months ago??? Could be money, but I dunno if she wanted it as bad as she said she should have by now.

I love my family, and I want to give it the best shot for my DD1. When all 3 of us were together being a normal family it wasnt that bad at all. I just fear the freedom of not watching a baby every day, combined with the fact DD1 was taken away and also being a teen her mind has her set off a wrong track.

Dont get me wrong, I know WAW needs some help, she shows some narcissistic qualities and some selfish behavior but I love her and I know that she was happy with us as a family when we were doing family things.

Now I have made so many changes, that well there is like no complaint she can throw at me anymore, other then her delusions that everything is my fault.

Allen A, Puppy please help with a plan as I am curious about the tough approach?? Or am I just too late or crazy to try because I want to save a marriage and a Family.