Is his "EQ" truly so low that he DOESN'T GET the magnitude of what he is doing to me? How can he be so dense? I am just baffled.
Originally Posted By: CityGirl
I often wonder the same thing about my H. How on EARTH he can be so dense and thoughtless. Ever since he moved in with OW (about two months ago) he has been sending me random texts wanting to come over for dinner (note: he has not been allowed to step foot in my house since May of 2008), telling me he is thinking of me and he thinks of me often and so on.
Honestly, he has no regard for my feelings and has never taken the time to see things through my lens. Sounds like your H is in the same place. They made the tough hurtle of getting the D papers done, now they are moving in (or have moved in) with OW and don't seem to realize their "tough task" is done. We have the enormous task of not only rebuilding but rebuilding with the knowledge our H's are living with their mistresses.
When they're in THE FOG, it's all about them, ALWAYS. They can see to the end of their nose. Period. They've made their decision, they've moved on with their life, and that's all that matters to them. Everyone else be damned.
Years from now, when their current relationships are kaput and they awaken from the FOG with a string of angry people in their wake, then maybe - just maybe - they might come around.
My FIL, who walked away from his family in his mid-40's, FINALLY started acting like a decent guy in his 70's - 25 years later! I don't know if he's a slow learner or realized his appointment with St. Peter was coming soon, but I've only just been able to sit down with him and have a conversation that didn't revolve around HIM in the last five years or so. He's actually a decent guy NOW. Too bad he wreaked so much damage with all his selfishness THEN...
