Still trying to find my way

[Vulcanized]

He wanted to know why I didn't tell him about the change in daycare. I wanted to get it across to him that he hasn't been approachable, that's why I told him he was stand-offish. But looking back at how I've been during exchanges, I can see how he would feel that I was the one stand-offish so he backed off, if that makes sense.

You didn't tell H b/c you have primary custody. You don't need H's permission. He's trying to turn it around on you. If H is not approachable, especially w/no emergency sitches, than do not approach.

H never reads his mail, I should have made the effort to tell him about the daycare, I mentioned it in my brain dump post actually. But because he's been so dark on me I didn't want to be the one to break the silence. And I don't think he was furious at me, he was just frustrated in general about the whole daycare mess.

Tough $hit, H doesn't read his mail. How is that your responsibility? H is a grown man. Again, t.s. You are frustrated about H, OW & OW's pg, but H has made that your problem, correct?

Urgh, this is all so complicated and confusing. I'm afraid if I reply, that will be wrong. But at the same time I'm more afraid that if I ignore him, I blow the chance to improve our situation. As it is we don't even talk about DS right now other than to confirm who picks him up which day. No talk about his schooling, no talk about his summer activities. Nothing.

Talking to H doesn't seem to be doing you much good at this point. H is not making any effort to speak to you. Take his lead and DO THE SAME.

If nothing else, ignoring H other than emergencies may help you to detach more. IMHO, you really need to detach much more.

(((Mystik)))