Quick question for the vets

[TimeHeals]

STBXW has some stuff here she needs to get.

I have said she should give me a call when she is free, and if I am here and free, she can swing by and pick it up.

Now she has danced all around this even though I have said it more than once (repeately asking how she can get her stuff).

So finally, today, she says that she doesn't want to see the dogs "because it would be cruel to the dogs and her", and she will meet me at a restaurant or something so I don't have to feel like a drug dealer hanging around in a parking lot to bring her stuff.

Now here's the thing: I don't really care if she gets the stuff or not, and I really don't want to go to all of this trouble because she has some kind of personal drama going on with this.

What do you all think?

Keep in mind, based on two long emails yesterday, she is still obsessing on OM.

[DanF]

I would tell her to come and get the stuff and you will keep the dogs out of sight. But then again, I am certainly not an expert and have made many mistakes along the way.

Hopefully someone else responds.

[TimeHeals]

What to do, what to do, what to do?

I am torn between becoming completely unavailable and telling her "I am not UPS and the Post Office".

Those are what spring to mind immediately. I am bad at giving advice for myself however.

[Puppy Dog Tails]

Tell her "I will be at the house on thus-and-such a day, between the hours of thus-and-such and thus-and-such, or on (option2 here) if that works better for you. Let me know. -- TH"

The dogs/drama are HER damned problem.

[futureunknown]

Yeah, ignore her ridiculous drama. Give her a couple reasonable options and throw it back in her court.

[gucci loafer]

Now here's the thing: I don't really care if she gets the stuff or not, and I really don't want to go to all of this trouble because she has some kind of personal drama going on with this.

Your answer is in your own quote..

If you really don't care and you really don't want to go to all the trouble, then PACK IT UP AND LEAVE IT SIT IN AN UNUSED CORNER...

Then NEVER say a thing about it again. If she asks about it tell her what you told US...

which is...

"WAW, I really don't care if you get your stuff or not and I really don't want to go to all this trouble to get it to you.
Let me know when you are able to come and get it or when you can send someone else to get it.


End of story... Let it sit and rot for all you care.. If at some point it gets in the way, then leave her a message that says exactly that. "WAW, I need the space your 'stuff is occupying. If you don't come and get it by__________, then I am going to get rid of it.

[TimeHeals]

Tell her "I will be at the house on thus-and-such a day, between the hours of thus-and-such and thus-and-such, or on (option2 here) if that works better for you. Let me know. -- TH"

Already did this. Unfortunately more than once. She keeps coming back with crazy stuff. I just wish this whole thing were over right about now.

I have no interest in all of this crazy drama anymore.

[Four_More_Years]

Then clearly she's not really interested in it. When she is, she'll make it work.

[TimeHeals]

Then clearly she's not really interested in it. When she is, she'll make it work.

You would think, right? Pfft.

[Awoken]

Tell her "I will be at the house on thus-and-such a day, between the hours of thus-and-such and thus-and-such, or on (option2 here) if that works better for you. Let me know. -- TH"

Already did this. Unfortunately more than once. She keeps coming back with crazy stuff. I just wish this whole thing were over right about now.

I have no interest in all of this crazy drama anymore.

Keep it business/not personal. Don't get drawn into any drama. Be kind and polite like you would be to a stranger.

Tell her when she can pick up the stuff, offer her an alternative, give her a deadline, tell her what you will do with the stuff if the deadline passes, then live by it. It's not personal, it's what you would do with a stranger.

She can create all the drama she wants, but you do not have to participate.

I'm dealing with the same issues with my own STBXW. One of the problems I'm having with emails is that she can easily turn what ever I say in them into ammo for her rational for divorce. She needs to. As long as I cared, it mattered. I just make the emails short and polite, and I'm ignoring all the extra stuff she is attaching to them. This approach has improved things considerably.

Hang in there.