You sound FABULOUS GIMA!!! I always knew you would come through this, no matter what the outcome, with flying colors.
Your STBXW is definitely in the land of self-absorbtion. Good grief! So, is she going to write out why she wants the D or is she just going to sweep this under the rug and pretend it never happened? When are you going to tell the kids?
As for telling the kids, we are still "discussing" that. I am pushing for now - she later. And SHE's the one who wanted the D, not me!!! WTF??!!!
What's that we always say here? NO EXPECTATIONS. I have no expectation or belief she will write any explanation for why she chose the path she did. And as I write this, I have a mental picture of her sitting down to put something down in writing (electronically or by hand) explaining why she saw D as the only option.
And implicit in putting down in writing out the "why" is that the "why" has to justify a D. And, I think I know some of the things she would write (again, I am guessing) and they simply do not justify a D.
So, either she has to make something up or adjust her perception of what she writes. In either event, there must necessarily involve some move away from reality, away from the TRUTH. I suppose this is one instance where the truth won't set her free.
Wow. That just sort of came out.
Mishka, I'm doing great. Only worry or emotion is for the kids. I don't feel a sense of loss for stbxw. Honestly, I don't. And that makes whether I receive an explanation or not from her completely irrelevant. It just doesn't matter anymore to me. Because I'm just too far gone to go back to her.
In meeting new women, I am very quickly learning that while I'm not perfect (none of us are), I'm pretty normal in my expectations from a partner. And there are many women out there who know how to say thank you, aren't afraid to show appreciation for nice gestures, are good communicators and actually desire being around, and with, someone like me.
Maybe that last part is just the last piece of the puzzle that is my self-esteem being put in place. Sort of the manifestation of what I knew after picking myself up off the ground (thanks Coach!!!) - that, dammit, I deserve to be happy and I'm not the bad person my stbxw thinks I am. I hope if she ever figures all of this out, there are people around her like I found here who can help her on her walk through he!!. But, it can't be me anymore.
Her choice, like all of her choices since the bomb, have consequences. If she was trying to break the bond between us, she's done it. And that no longer hurts. At least to the extent it no longer involves the kids.
So, there is life out there people. Don't ever, ever, ever quit working on yourself and don't ever, ever, ever give up. NEVER! It isn't going to find you. You have to go get it!!!!
