I haven't got the book yet, should come in the mail tomorrow, but already the website has been helpful. My wife of almost 12 years dropped the bomb on me around April 1st. It really woke me up and I started to make some changes. We did about a month of counseling before she quit. This is a pretty standard WAS deal from what I've been reading. I did everything that a normal concerned husband would do, but it totally backfired, I did things like buy her gifts and say ILY, which I see now was a mistake, it only made her mad. I did some good things too though like focusing more on the kids and helping out more around the house. Also did my best to avoid arguments, failed a few times there, she made it really hard. She moved out to her moms house 2 weeks ago, we've been sharing the kids pretty evenly which has been good. When she still lived with me she sent out a lot of mixed signals. She would say she wanted to divorce or separate, but took her sweet time leaving (2.5 months). Also she did a lot of nice things for me like making dinner and doing my laundrey, etc. In fact the day she moved out she cleaned the house really nice and did all of my laundrey, when I got home from work that day all I could think is wtf is she thinking? She seems to be in la-la land. All of this started when she recently went back to work, she had one short term EA until the guy went to jail (total loser), but now she's having another possible EA with a different co-worker, she doesn't know that I know about this one. I feel horrible all the time and just want things to "get fixed" but I'm trying to be patient now and follow all the advice on this website. I only wish I had found this information sooner, maybe I could have stopped her from moving out.
