Year 3: The Long and Winding Road

[oldtimer]

"I know a lot of people would have said "do her, your M is done, you deserve a little love""

I doubt it.

Of course he has no business having either the emotional affair he is currently having nor the looming physical affair. You indicate nowhere that he is either separated or planning a D. In what way is his M done? He IS cheating on his W already, he needs to stop.

BTW, the same still goes for you. As long as you have zero intention of ending your M and continuing to have W as your primary life partner, you have no business getting into emotional or physical affairs with women other than your wife...

[bright_new_day]

Did I give him good advice? I know a lot of people would have said "do her, your M is done, you deserve a little love" but, for some reason, my family has raised men who believe in doing what's right...and how that sucks sometimes!

You absolutely gave him the right advice! He needs to sort out his current R before entering into any new one, even a one-night-stand. He needs to be able to think with a clear head to resolve the marriage he is in!
And for the record, I think that a man who believes in doing the right thing is a real man....not a child like most of the WAH's we hear about here (including mine!)

[ImprovedRomeo]

You gave him a great advice. It's an advice that made me think about my current state of mind and I took to heart your sentence "You're an honourable man, keep it that way". Maybe I need to shed my anger and continue being the person with integrity.

[whatisis]

[quote=oldtimer
Of course he has no business having either the emotional affair he is currently having nor the looming physical affair. You indicate nowhere that he is either separated or planning a D. In what way is his M done? He IS cheating on his W already, he needs to stop.

[/quote]

Brother is planning to end the M in the next three months, it's been a painful ongoing process to get there but that's the plan. You are right, OT. I'm sure he's been building this R with this woman, sharing his M issues etc. He certainly shouldn't be shocked when she takes a shot, he's been asking for it. And I do speak as one who did the same inappropriate thing when I was in his postion. He wants validation, to feel like a man again, feel some caring etc. But, I think he needs to take care of his home sitch and probably be alone for a while. But, I know that's practically impossible to tell someone who's got someone waiting in the wings. I am very leery of instant new R's, I think they are asking for trouble. But, what do I know!

[whatisis]

[quote=oldtimer
BTW, the same still goes for you. As long as you have zero intention of ending your M and continuing to have W as your primary life partner, you have no business getting into emotional or physical affairs with women other than your wife... [/quote]

But...but...you said if I made up those cards I could! Do you know how much those cost me? Well, they can still make nice bookmarks...I guess.

[ImprovedRomeo]

wii, a tip on the business cards...make them viral by writing this on the back "If you distribute this card to the next 10 female friends your one wish will come true soon"

...and don't forget to include a link to your youtube video on the card where you are demonstrating all your good traits in front of the camera

[whatisis]

wii, a tip on the business cards...make them viral by writing this on the back "If you distribute this card to the next 10 female friends your one wish will come true soon"

...and don't forget to include a link to your youtube video on the card where you are demonstrating all your good traits in front of the camera

...and to my FB page...that I don't have!
Oh oh, what about this on the front of the card "Make me big, or go home!" That will make them Oprahesque-like, women like Oprah!

[NewHorizons]

S-u-u-u-re. *nudge nudge* *wink wink* Say no more.

[whatisis]

Well, I think the only thing for me to do here is to man up, go down to my brothers workplace, meet this women, take her out for a Peanut Buster Parfait (sorry Kat, it's family business) and do a little sack time just to save my brother from doing something really dumb! It's the least one brother can do for another. I just can't stop giving, it's my nature....and I'll leave her my card.

[BeingMe]

You said the right thing to your brother, indeed. He shouldn't, however, regret not having met her years ago. Who knows how she would've turned out? Even now, she may be all "I understand you", "so sorry for your troubles" and down the road become a different person. I question her morals in trying to get a married man into bed. He's not even separated. Everyone is on their best behaviour in the beginning, which is why I believe in long engagements (which still isn't a sure bet, but you do get some time to get to know one another a tad better).