We have one of those GPS things in both cars since we have teenagers! Luckily, I've never discovered anything from them that anyone shouldn't be up to....not the kids or the H.
Voice thing is a good idea. Didn't know about those!
No friends at his workplace. He works an hour away too, so it's difficult. Actually, he doesn't spend much time in the car because he takes the bus to/from work.
And no FT. He refused to go, of course. He's happy that I'm going to IC because "I need to work on myself and he needs to work on himself" but he had no desire to go to MC. He put all the responsibility on me - that I need to change so that he can then determine if I am a person he wants to be married to. Nice, huh?!
Its not a pleasant way to put it, but he's implying that he's doubtful and sad and wants to follow your lead... just go to FT... if you keep goign to an IC he won't trust FT... its not the same thing at all...
Everyone tries to convince their WS to go to FT, its pointless, you need to set an example for them to follow... They can't act like an adult until they SEE ONE.
The voice recorder will help if he's calling her, wont help with text.. PDT here used it with great success as have others here... It only starts up when it hears sounds... works great
So he has been taking the kids and you have said in your past post that that is the only real time that he has to text or call some one out side of work.
Ok her is what i would do grab the other kid or kids and go walking at your pace.
Then maybey your husband will join in as a family and you can all walk together.
Her is some thing that happened to a couple freinds of the family. Husbant was 50 wife 48, He started going to the gym working out allways asking wife to join him in his quest to get fit she would say no. He drobped 50 lbs and started feeling better about himself he looked great and wife never really said much or did anything to go with him and be part of his quest to get fit.
He talked about this to me and my dad that he just wanted her to be part of the new him.
Next thing you know he bought a fancy new sports car was spending more time away from home And he had an affair.
He talked to us again and he said the reason he liked the other women she would go do things that he enjoyed doing, The hiking ,jogging etc gym.
This affair started at the gym because he met her and they started working out together.
A goal i would set for you is start going on walks with your family.If one person changes the other has to so they say.
With husband getting the kids out maybey he wants you to come to and be part of the new him?? I.M.H.O
Me 37 Waw 32 son2 bomb 8/11/09 O/M 12/25/09 Divorce filed 8/25/09 divorce finale 6/16/10 Divorce putt on hold 6/16/10 Divorce postponed STBXW idea 8/8/10
Its not a pleasant way to put it, but he's implying that he's doubtful and sad and wants to follow your lead... just go to FT... if you keep goign to an IC he won't trust FT... its not the same thing at all...
Everyone tries to convince their WS to go to FT, its pointless, you need to set an example for them to follow... They can't act like an adult until they SEE ONE.
The voice recorder will help if he's calling her, wont help with text.. PDT here used it with great success as have others here... It only starts up when it hears sounds... works great
Kinda like a motion sensitive camera
Good idea. Although, texts are probably used more would be my guess.
I do think I have been doing pretty well at changing the things I feel I need to change - for myself - that were not good for my marriage. I'm getting my transcripts together to go back to finish my degree. I've been job hunting, but that's difficult with not a lot of work experience (stay at home mom for most of the past 20 years) and dressing nicer, going to counseling, being a pleasant person to be around, etc... While I'm sure he must appreciate these things, it has not brought about any changes in terms of hearing ILY or any affection. Well, other than him wanting sex every couple of days. He seems to appreciate my going to IC. I don't think he really knows the difference between IC and FT so he probably wouldn't see it differently.
if he's sending gifts he might be sloppy and leave them on there... look for any suspicuios purchases
Do you have a bicycle? You can RIDE beside him as he jogs if you want cant' you?
I do monitor that. The only suspicious purchase has been a background check he purchased through some online site a couple of weeks ago. I found that rather odd. Although, it could be that he was doing it on himself to see what came up. I really don't know. That one has me baffled.
Good idea about the bike!!! No one has used any of ours in years, but not a bad idea!
TWolf: The kids haven't been going with him. He asked a couple of times if they wanted to go but they didn't. It wasn't like he really wanted them to go and was disappointed they didn't... it was more like he was just making the offer since they were asking him where he was going. Does that make sense?
I have been very good about his need to get fit. I started cooking healthier and we went and got me a Wii Fit that I've been doing. I've been losing weight as well but just not as near a fast rate as he has. I've asked him to do the Wii fit with me but he's not interested. Not that I'm discounting what you're saying... I can see the importance. I just am so confused at when to give him space and when to try to get involved. When he's home, he basically goes into the home office and plays XBox most of the time other than when he goes running. He occasionally will make an effort to watch something on tv with me...but mostly, just stays to himself. We've done things as a family, but nothing just him and I. I have not brought up any R talk at all and am not feeling like I should right now.
