Since I have been served, I still want to work this out. I will get a L to protect myself, but I do not want to be too hard as to just drive her away.
Not a good plan, C. Now that she's "gone legal," your best course is to play good ol' country hardball. Let your ATTORNEY handle all of that; you stay civil and courteous, and just tell your wife "I prefer to let my attorney handle that stuff -- I trust him."
It is a classic, CLASSIC mistake to take a position of "Maybe if I'm nice to her, she will not screw me legally." Appeasement doesn't work -- in geopolitics, nor in divorces.
