Don't guide her, unless she ASKS you some form of "What do I need to do?" or "Tell me what I need to do." And even then, at THIS early stage (the one Greek refers to that her husband did), I like the response of "This is your mess; you get to clean it up."
Let HER tell YOU what she's willing to do to clean up her mess!!
Again, be prepared for incrementalism (which WON'T work), and some pullback from her position of last night. The alcoholic usually swears that "I will drink less," long before they hit bottom and give it up altogether.
In fact, tonite would be a GREAT nite to go do a GAL something with the guys, if you can swing it, staying out until some reasonably-late (but still family-guy respectable) time of 11:30 or so.
Again, be prepared for incrementalism (which WON'T work), and some pullback from her position of last night. The alcoholic usually swears that "I will drink less," long before they hit bottom and give it up altogether.
Puppy
Another very likely thing would be for her to actually say NOTHING, about ANYTHING that she said last nite, and just ACT NICER to you, temperature-checking you to see if "FFH is on board with all of this, or have I lost him?"
This is why a guy's night out would be a good idea, as a not-so-subtle reminder (by your ACTIONS, not your WORDS) that "Hey, babe, the ball is still in YOUR court, I'm not stupid."
She is sending me messages that her and my son just had lunch by the pool and she hopes we can do stuff like that again. She said she misses me.
By the things i've read in this forum I guess I need to take all this with a grain of salt??? Not sure how to reply to these types of messages.
Well, you shouldn't take it hook, line and sinker. But a kind response will not hurt. Something like: "I enjoy family time, too." Something non-committal, but true, and positive. Remember, this is her time to make up the difference.
Greek
Me45 H46 T25 M22 S21 & 19 D13 Separated and filed 8/08 Moved home 11/08
By the things i've read in this forum I guess I need to take all this with a grain of salt??? Not sure how to reply to these types of messages.
Her WORDS mean NOTHING to you at this point. Only one thing does: her ACTIONS, over time.
DO NOT RESPOND for a few hours. Then, reply with "Sorry, been a crazy day, just saw this. Glad you guys are having a good time. Hey, what time will you be home from work tonite? I wanted to go out for a couple of hours, and shouldn't be too late." (or some such)
