I"m buried at work at the moment, but for whatever my opinion is worth:
I've personally enver seen the "nice them back to you" approach work -- esp. when thins have already gone legal. In fact, I've seen quite the opposite.
There's a TON of grey area in which you can be civil, courteous, respectful and kind while taking a strong stance legally, financially, and against the affair.
"I thought if I was nice to him, he would play nice legally" are FAMOUS last words. There's a reason they put that little "v" between the names of the parties!!
