Just found out she already filed

[ImprovedRomeo]

Couldn't really sleep last night. Various senarios running through my mind and the things I want to say to STBXW.

"You want to talk about fairness now when it suits your agenda? You still don't get it! It's not about me getting back at you about the support these are one of many consequences of your actions. Actions you took to destroy my family for your own selfish reasons like the last time. I'm sure one day you'll be proud to explain yourself to DD. You want to talk about fairness now after your scumbag lawyer and you took me to the cleaners and here you are begging and threatening me to get your way without any regard for my financial situation? I'm having to skip meals and live on bean burritos and you want DD to go to the private school on my dime? the money I'm handing over to you every month? On top of that you want me to chip in more? does that sound fair to you? You want to talk about fairness then start with yourself! Let's renegotiate the monthly payments first. If you want to send her to the private school so you can calm your guilty conscience as if to make it up to her for all the other devastation then I'll give you permission but I won't want no part in it. You want to go to court GLADLY!! let's go!"

I'm so tempted to send this to her, I feel she needs to know this she's still in her own lala land! Will it make a difference other than making me feel better? i don't know...but something tells me I need to fight back.

Kerry, thank you for the nice thoughtful note. I know you're right but even going through the lawyers I need to negotiate...they simply become the middle-man. I still have to tell them what I want and quite honestly I'm split about it. I would prefer DD to go to the private school for at least the first couple of years so she's a little bit older and wiser- the private school is gated unlike the public schools. At the same time I need my payments reduced and I don't want one to impact the other for the final judgement.

Yesterday my lawyer said that if I can keep the communication lines open with STBXW then it's better even if I feel like I"m spinning my wheels. The more we can negotiate ourselves the better it is for both of us. She said worse case I lose some of my own time and not rack up the attorney fees.