Mel, I used a db coach too.. the affair did NOT even take a dent from the little bo peep approach...
Read Ken's story on here, or more recent TWolf, he used a db coach and the MWD technique and his wife continued to cheat on him for a YEAR... eventually moving out and filing for divorce... NOW that he's combatting the affair DIRECTLY using a more aggressive approach and handling this as an addiction his WIFE is now telling the divorce judge SHE needs more time and has second thoughts...
Going soft on cheating isnt' getting a very good track record on this forum or from the experts in that area... it just results in the WS playing both sides of the fence and the LBS - YOU - getting more ILL and MISERABLE by the DAY
Once I started playing hard ball THAT's when things improved
MWD is NOT an infidelity expert... many infidleity experts treat infidelity as an ADDICTION.. and you have to play hard ball with an addict...
Re The legal ramifications, I woudl suggest you
a. Contact a lawyer JUST to find out what your legal rights are.. it should be a free consult b. Prepare a letter to him if you are planning on staying longer that will invite him to visit his Daughter there were you are... He very likley knows you have exposed there and won't want to show his face anyways...
If you write that letter and show it to the lawyer I suspect that will prove he has been given access...
Regarding what's best for your daughter people on this forum have seen their children left in the hands of an infidelity addict and have seen their children left alone an entire afternoon with no food and even attacked by a dog resulting in stiches and hospitalization...
Addicts cannot effectively care for children...
Here, read this short ebook, this is an alternative strategy to MWD from Penny Tupy, who IS a Family THerapist and an infidleity SPECIALIST
I am not saying my way is "right", but I would suggest you consider what people on this forum who EXPERIENCE infidleity and research it OUTSIDE of just the MWD philosophy have to say... we consult infidelity EXPERTS like Tupy, Lusterman, Harley, etc... They deal with infideltiy daily and have a very successful track record
Read the ebook and decide for yourself if it makes sense...
