Welcome to DB--you've found a great place filled with lots of experience.

You are doing the right thing in trying to stay detached, it's hard. Have you read the DB and DR books yet? If not, they are a great place to start.

This is the best place to be to vent, search and figure out what is going on with you. You can't share any of this with H, he simply won't be able to hear you right now.

Someone will be by soon with links for info on how to deal with this. Please read them all, they are a great starting point.

(((hugs)))

formerly known as "shelbel"
Me 40, stbxh 40
DSs 9, 7 & 3
M9, T10
Stbxh is a diagnosed bipolar & an addict. The end.