Not to be a smart ass, but I noticed you dont have kids
No, I do not. Puppy has 4 kids.
The fear thing has to go no matter what.
Fair enough. The other thing is, it seems, at least to me ( which certainly may be skewed) that I HAVE let go of the fear, at least to a much greater degree then I ever had before. Now, that being said, I guess its certainly possible that it may peek out now and then subconsciously during our interactions, I dont know. I know yesterday was ridiculously tough for me to keep a nuetral face on when she was packing and moving stuff out and instigating me over the stupidest of things, such as the fact that she got pissy cause I wouldnt let her deplete my stock of trashbags so SHE could pack. " Hey WAW, Im sorry but I need them myself, had you simply asked me the night before I might have been able to get you some or something " She flipped out even about that !
I did slip once when she finally pushed to far with the insults and nonsense and responded she was a terrible liar. I didnt let on anymore then that, but I KNOW she's been lying about alot of things. I also found out quite a few other things through intel that she's been lying about, and some of those may in fact wind up coming back to bite her in the ass, particularly with regards to her living situation and DYFS involvement, which means the chances increase that the kids come back to me. One thing she accidentaly confirmed for me yesterday without even realizing it was the phone number she had been texting with ever increasing frequency since Mid March, and I strongly suspected belonged to her EX was in fact correct!
Neighbor called to check on me yesterday when she saw the vehicles/people outside. Went and talked to her for a bit and hit on something that may explain why the usual DB remedies are not having the normal effect. Since WAW clearly needs some type of mood stabilization medication before she can think or process things clearly, until that is identified and treatment is started, nothing I try to do will be interpreted correctly.
WAW actually said that she believes all my changes, 180's etc or nothing more then a sick attempt by me to F with her ! And NOTHING could be further from the truth. I just want my WAW to see I've "woken up " I want to fight for our relationship and our family, etc.
One thing that Im REALLY struggling with is knowing everything I know and wanting to confront her, just trying to get her to stop LYING about things ! Intellectually I know in her current state it wont matter a lick, but I feel a nearly uncontrollable desire to make sure she knows she's not nearly as "slick " as she thinks she is and that Im not some idiot that she can lie to with impugnity.
