So what is the course of action then? I mean if she gets NO response from him doesn't that make her feel worse about the whole thing. Won't she eventually give up?
She is hanging onto hope that when the D is final she will be able to run down to him. Or she hopes that he will eventually contact her back so they can start something while the D is in process.
But if I stay on top of things and make sure she gets no contact back, won't the hope fade away and reality set in?
Me - 32 Her -30 Married - 7 Years Together - 9 Years No Kids 05/21 - Bomb 6/8 - Exposed 7/9 - Re-Exposed 06/11 - She Filed
And yes, there is a difference between "when will she give up trying" and "when will she be 'over' him, emotionally and physiologically?" I was answering the latter.
WITHOUT these things, you can expect "hard withdrawal" (a near-depressive state) to last 2-4 weeks, and TOTAL withdrawal to last 3-12 months, depending on the depth of their emotional attachment.
Well, I was going to say a lot longer than 2 weeks. My STBXW moved out and filed for Divorce over a month ago, and she sent me two long emails obsessing on OM yesterday. Shaking my head.
It's pitiful.
Last edited by TimeHeals; 06/23/1001:51 PM.
M-47,W-40,No kids D-filed 5/27/2010 Piecing - 10/21/2010 -=Soon to be banned=-
I will take when she gives up trying. That is one of my small goals that I feel is attainable.
But she seems determined to "move on" from the marriage. She sent another text to another friend asking when it was "ok to start looking again".
Then 30 min later she tried calling the Facebook guy. So I think she was looking for validation to go ahead and call him in the hopes he would answer and she could convince him to start something.
I am hoping once she realizes that she isn't going to have him to run to after the divorce, she might at least start to reconsider.
Quote:
And how do you propose to control THAT???
It's called setting up the network router in my house to block certain Facebook websites, or just disabling the thing when I leave the house. I have many other ways of doing stuff, and at least for now all she has managed is 2 or 3 texts and 1 phone call with no response back.
Last edited by Quicksilver264; 06/23/1001:59 PM.
Me - 32 Her -30 Married - 7 Years Together - 9 Years No Kids 05/21 - Bomb 6/8 - Exposed 7/9 - Re-Exposed 06/11 - She Filed
WITHOUT these things, you can expect "hard withdrawal" (a near-depressive state) to last 2-4 weeks, and TOTAL withdrawal to last 3-12 months, depending on the depth of their emotional attachment.
Well, I was going to say a lot longer than 2 weeks. My STBXW moved out and filed for Divorce over a month ago, and she sent me two long emails obsessing on OM yesterday. Shaking my head.
It's pitiful.
When I say "2-4 weeks," I'm referring to hard withdrawal. Depression, not wanting to get out of bed, laying on the couch not communicating with the family, not eating, calling in sick to work, etc. And it's not "binary" -- it doesn't just suddenly end, and then you're neatly into "soft withdrawal." The symptoms will disappear over time, and there will still be horrible days, only less of them.
When I say "2-4 weeks," I'm referring to hard withdrawal. Depression, not wanting to get out of bed, laying on the couch not communicating with the family, not eating, calling in sick to work, etc.
She most definitely has NOT done any of that. She seems to have kept a fairly positive attitude about it, and just blames me for him not talking to her after I contacted him. She is VERY stubborn, and sees things the way she wants to.
I think she just wants to keep pursuing him. And I am hoping that just like in divorce busting, that the more she pursues the further he will stay away.
And yes, she knows exactly why he won't talk to her. And it is because I contacted him. And the depth of her anger over that has reached new levels. To the point that she wants to flaunt just how she feels about him in front of me.
Me - 32 Her -30 Married - 7 Years Together - 9 Years No Kids 05/21 - Bomb 6/8 - Exposed 7/9 - Re-Exposed 06/11 - She Filed
How are you gonna handle yourself if one of your kids ends up on drugs or drinking heavily? Are you gonna worry about how angry they get at you when you lock the liquor cabinet?
