Well, I'm new here , this is my first post. My H and I are still young , he's 33 , I'm 31, and I think he might be having a MLC. He's been getting progressivly grouchier/impatient/careless/distanced for about 1.5 years now, we've been ,married 9 years, known each other 12. We have a son whos 4, and H has been trying for the past 4 years to launch a successful business, which he finally did mid last year, at which point everything just imploded for him emotionally, it didnt give him the happiness he's been chasing so madly after for 4 years I think.
Thats when he gave me 'I love you but I'm not in love with you' speech. Saying he's been unhappy for years, and we are friends more than anything else, and that he wanted to move out to 'find himself', and it was his time to be a bit selfish and not compromise on the things he wanted to do.
Since then he has bought a speed boat , started wakeboarding (used to waterski when he was a teenager), spending every free moment with his high school best friend (who he went into this business with 4 years ago),he signed up to climb kilimanjaro (which he has always wanted to do, but we never had he money, but the business is paying for it now), he bought a HUGE luxury car on the companies expense, and he's going back to hiking which he stopped doing altogether just before we were married, it dwindled really, but I never stopped him from doing it, but he felt guilty going and leaving me (He comes from a guilt driven family - and he feels guilt for everything and anything if it makes him happy)
I have always tried to encourage and perpetuate his happiness by letting him buy anything he wants to buy and do anything he wants to do.
Anyway he is at the point now where he is keeping himself very busy with work , and if he's not at work he is on his mountain bike, and if he's not there, hes climbing a mountain.
He is doing the things that I know will make him happy, but I never knew that he was holding back on any of this for me.
He also started becoming distant just after S4 was born, nd I felt I took on the workload of bringing him up by myself, while it felt H was pursuing whatever he wanted to persuit, so I started feeling resentful the past couple of years, but gave him the benefit of the doubt, becasue he was overworked.
I could go on forever.
We are at the point where he comes over every night to bath S and put him to bed, I am being freidly but detached, and H seems content with that for now.
Trying to keep my head screwed on through all of this, have my days when I'm not sure its a MLC or not, but he is so different to me, it feels like it is a MLC....
Here for spme daily guidance, thoughts, and happiness!
