I told him i did it for closure! I needed to let go and detach...If I say to H I am detaching and creating boundaries and truly letting go he gets all flustered and upset!
Tempting to use DBing language with a WAS. I sure have. Maybe next time use language that shows you are moving on. Even if you are acting "as if".
Something like: "H, I respect and love myself too much to stay in a loveless marriage. I want a divorce because I want someone who cares for me and treats me right, and is a good role model for our son - that is, someone who knows to hang around and do the work when things get rough."
Don't tell him you are setting boundaries. Just enforce them. So instead of telling him you are reducing contact with him as a way of boundary-setting, just say "H, I am heavily pregnant & am rather busy right now with that. Hope you understand I need my space"...or whatever... Then enforce it. And be consistent.
