DO 1. Be cold.. be as indifferent and disspassionate as you can be... think mr spock 2. IF he tries to get you to talk WALK AWAY 3. Tell him if he has anything to say, write it down and that you don't want to hear a peep out of him... and repeat that until he gets it.. say NOTHIGN ELSE... no yelling "You hurt me so much" etc... NONE OF THAT
Don't 1. Be rude... No, no insults, no threats, no yelling, no arm waving 2. No favors... no cooking, no laundry, do NOTHING for him... act independent 3. Do not ACCEPT him doing anything for YOU right now either.. he will try to BUY your forgiveness by making dinner and crap... to soften HIS guilt... refuse anything he tries to do... you need to make his guilt eat him alive for him to grow up 4. Don't talk about anything.. SILENT TREATMENT until HE ENDS the AFFAIR.. PERIOD.. ZERO convo from you... Women KNOW how to convey disapproval without talking... use that... 5. Dont' let him near your daughter.. he's an addict... you need to SHUT him OUT of the family financially, practically, AND EMOTIONALLY until he ENDS the AFFAIR...
No talking No funding his cell phone or internet No dinner with you and daughter No sleeping in marital bed for you either
Be ABSENT from the HOME as much as you can and take your daughter WITH YOU - show him how emtpy his home is because of what he's doing
If you have to be at home, take a friend with you to stay there and run interference... make sure they are FULLY INFORMED on what's going on so they can bust his balls if he tries anything
My dear your husband's an addict, util he ACTS RESPONSIBLY I don't reccomend you involve him in marriage or family at all...
And NO SLEEPING in the SAME BED...
YOU take a spare bed or hte couch.. got it?
THIS strategy outlined above sends a VERY CLEAR MESSAGE yours doesn't...
This is a poker game my dear, you NEVER show your cards until your opponent reveals what they have to you... you should be a CLOSED BOOK of silence until HE ENDS IT and MEANS IT
More to come later, but this should be your first few days of strategy : SILENCE and DISTANCE... show him what DIVORCE FEELS LIKE while he has a CHANCE to SAVE the MARRAIGE
YOur strategy is far too supplicating and pursuing... He will just take advantage of it
Hit him hard with a wall of silence for at least three days
