Have you read any threads in the MLC forum? It might be a good idea to spend some time reading there. Sounds as if he could be in MLC.
He is bored and he's trying to feel "something" by engaging in these on line A's. He blames all his unhappines on you and thinks if he could have one of those OW his life would be better.
I have read some on the MLC threads. SOme things seem to apply and others not. I don't see any hope of convincing him that I can't possibly be the root cause of all his problems so I just gave up on that! I just don't know how far he'd actually pursue in terms of OW to make himself happy.
Why on earth are you having sex with him, if you think he may be having an affair and you have NO good intel on it?
I hope to God you're using protection!
Puppy
P.S. My guess is EA, but that's just a guess.
Good question, Puppy! I guess it's because I don't really think he's having a PA. If I did, I wouldn't have sex with him at all, I'd kick him out! But - yeah - no good intel so I can't be certain of that.
Medically, that's just reckless. Emotionally, if he IS having an affair, I think most men in that situation would view the sex as a sort of validation (or at least a "looking the other way") at their infidelity.
Medically, that's just reckless. Emotionally, if he IS having an affair, I think most men in that situation would view the sex as a sort of validation (or at least a "looking the other way") at their infidelity.
Puppy
I wish I could know for sure. Honestly, I don't see how he could be having a PA with as much time as he spends at home and/or with the kids. My guess has been EA for the most part. Maybe on the verge of PA when all this first came about. My first husband cheated on me and I think I have a pretty good gut instinct about these things. I would feel better if I could have a look at his cellphone records or email. I did hack into his Facebook page and went through all his messages a few weeks ago. I did not find any evidence of wrongdoing. Yeah - there were a few people I preferred he not be "friends" with, but no messages back and forth that would totally inappropriate.
The bad part is, I didn't even think in terms of medically, with sex! After 20 years you kinda get used to not thinking about that!
Guess it sounds like I am trying to rationalize in terms of what I want to think, I know. I will say that to me, an EA is no small matter even if not evolved into a PA!
Sorry; it's just that I've seen it many times on these forums. The risk of STDs -- and worse -- is very real.
Puppy
It's a very good - and valid - point. I have spent so much time worrying about the emotions of all this and how hurt I am that I hadn't even considered the medical risks. I guess it's too late at this point as to what's happened thus far. Now I need to consider actions going forward.
Have you ever asked your husband if you could go on these walks with him?
Me 37 Waw 32 son2 bomb 8/11/09 O/M 12/25/09 Divorce filed 8/25/09 divorce finale 6/16/10 Divorce putt on hold 6/16/10 Divorce postponed STBXW idea 8/8/10
Have you ever asked your husband if you could go on these walks with him?
Niiiiiice.
Puppy
Well - he runs most of the time and I can't keep up! (Sad, I know.) Sometimes he walks rather than running (so he says) if he's not feeling up to running. I'm working on my own fitness goals but right now, there's no way I could run/jog with him. Now, he has invited the kids along (2 of the 3 could keep up).
