The saga continues

[OfficerInNeed]

start pulling that stuff and you might as well give your wife the freedom to move on with her life without additional heartache.

This is all in my W's head. My W would not say what I have done or do that leads her to believe this, if she told me I could certainly rectify the matter and address any of her concerns.

thank you for posting your conversation. I personally taught it read as being a very healthy conversation to have at the time. People need to let it out and need to be heard, and need to listen. It is healthy. Once you know what you need to know now. Let it sink in.

Although I did not intend to initiate a R talk and I could have chose my words better, it enabled me to get more of an understanding of where my W is at right now. A month ago W would had said "I am still leaving" but when I asked W said "I can't say right now" even though she has not affirmed anything new about our M it will help my DB efforts if she remains in the same home as me.

Can I ask you a question?

What is the difference between marriage and friendship with your wife?

What PDT said BUT to be honest I cannot answer this question. Before our sitch I had a different outlook on marriage. It is no secrete and had been alluded too many times on this forum that the relationship W and I had was more along the lines of father-daughter. I NOW have a NEW outlook on marriage (healthy marriage) and want to build a friendship withing our M/R.


My W does not have the privilege and knowledge of how healthy relationships work. I am W's only relationship beyond her EA and therefore she does not understand the approach I am taking. While I read DR and other relationship building books and follow posts/advice on these forums where I learn how to communicate, earn respect, build, not pressure or pursue, W have a different take on what works in a R, none of it seems logical compared to the aforementioned but it is the only way she knows but WILL NOT participate in any sort of therapy.

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As for today:

W and I went out and got some things we needed for the house.

We did some work around the house without incident.

W did respond with hmm or umm hmmm but now I think she is doing it purposely, so I will ignore it.

W had her moments where she seemed distant, I think much of her negative attitude has a lot to do with the conversation that took place yesterday.

I am going back to my old threads and re-reading advice given to help build better interactions.