Thank you so much for pointing me in the right direction CHW and OP. I'm only just getting to grips with how to navigate around the site. I'm taking your advice and starting my own thread. My H first signalled his intention to leave last September, the day before he turned 51. He eventually left in March this year. During that period he was at home four nights a week and away at his new rented place for three. This was meant to give him the space he said he desperately needed and allow us to work through things. I have always assumed there was OW but he has consistently denied this. This never happened. It was the most difficult six months ever. Everything I did he criticised, he was unhappy and grumpy. He was simply unkind towards me. But all the time I remained patient and tried to understand what he was going through. It wasn't until the March and after he had left that I found out about DBing and it has become my lifeline. So, where are we now? I've managed to do things that I never thought possible. Went around to see his new place, had dinner there with the kids. I'm focusing on building a friendship. Everything I do in front of him I implement all the fantastic advice from the Veterans from this site - then in my own private space I grieve.Went out for dinner with the him and kids at the weekend (had said no to previous two invites) and managed to keep it all cool. No OR talk, spoke softly, listened carefully. Said goodnight as I would to a friend - no quick kiss, no lingering or asking when we were going to see him again. Then none of us have heard anything from him for the past three days. I am GALing as well as any of us can expect to and really concentrating on my kids (S21 S16 S14). My days can be fairly eaten up by thinking about whats going on. I work, which is a blessing as it gives me structure. But often my mind is elsewhere. I've printed off so many pages - especially the Veterens Nuggets and Success Stories and keep re-reading them and the DB book. Patience has become my mantra. I have to be brave enough to understand and believe that hope is a positive thing and not be frightened of it. Does that make sense? Thank you for caring enough to answer my previous stich. Twiglet
