is it better they are around and live right around the corner? is it better that they want to be in our lives as "friends"? Or is it better that they do move far far away... or choose to not be in our lives at all? Does one way make us heal faster? Is it easier to have closure if there is OW? as opposed to no reason to not want to be with their wives just because?
Gatsby, I think your H is just in need of some attention! My H went through a week where he used to comment that he is moving to another state and once I started saying ok, send me a postcard, i'll help you pack, he stopped. I felt like what can i do to stop you... nothing! Is this his way of wanting you to say NO, PLEASE DONT GO! Me and your D need you??? Why should we pick them up?
i agree with your H's friend who commented and said that he may never be happy, because he is constantly looking for it!!! Happiness lies within ourselves. And yes, I know I allow myself to feel all this pain and anger, but its a result of someone else's action towards me. But as for your H, doesnt he realize he is STILL not happy, and it has NOTHING to do with you? i think that they are denying themselves the opportunity to be happy... they are pushing away the only good thing in their lives... like masochists! They dont know happiness if it hit them in the face. So instead some retract, some go look for OP and some go have affairs, or drugs, etc. Why would one deny themselves of happiness, of a child, of a baby, a family... if you cant find happiness in love and a family, will you ever find happiness in anything else!?
If I felt sad or 'not in love' with my H, i wouldve gone to shrink after shrink trying to figure out what was wrong with me. Instead they leave, (my H too) and claim they are still not happy? So why do it to yourself?
Think its just a line they say to try and make us feel better?
i sometimes think my H tries to sugar coat things to not hurt me so much.
Im sorry Gatsby he had to spring this on you now! ((HUGS))
