Well, I'm gonna have to pick up my game and run two different plans at once.
First, I think I have a plan on the cell phone. I'll know more tomorrow.
Second, and the biggest surprise so far, is after we chatted about something else today, she asked if I had looked at the separation stuff she bought. I said I'd glanced at one of them. She said "it's pretty vague so we'll have to add the thing you wrote" (that you didn't believe I wrote). I can't believe she is pushing this.
My first thought is to let her have a go at filling it out. That ought to slow things down. I'm certainly not going to be a willing participant in accelerating the dissolution of my family and marriage. Plus, if she has to go through all the emotional, financial, and logistice crap involved in this, it may give her a reality check. However, if there is an affair, she won't get it but it will slow things down.
My thoughts are that my non-reaction to her "sep paper presentation" ("OK") didn't get the response she wanted/expected (I didn't Cave in). So she could be pushing for real or for effect. I can't tell. Or he affair is progressing and she wants to fast-track. Or she truly wants out anyway without any real attempt at reconciliation. It's like she's suddenly in a hurry.
Her talk about the Co-op Housing suggests she is looking for an inexpensive place. My thought would be AFTER D, but she may be wanting out NOW. Problem is, we don't have an extra 700 a month.So it won't happen.
Prior to this sep paper talk, my thoughts today were on proving the affair and at that point confront HER. THEN, based on "not spending family resources on OM", I would demand her debit card and cut it. And have her stricken from the account. If her checks didn't arrive, that would be considered "abandonment" and the courts would look poorly on that during custody.
I would work out a X per week allowance to cover her expences (smokes, gas, cell,etc)based on the family budget available. Essentially, Combined income minus TOTAL family bills leaves equal amount for her and I for "whatever". Her cell, her CC, her gas, etc would be her own responsibility on her own allowance-same as mine.
But now, strangely I feel I need something else or different.
I'm still gonna try to prove the A, but now I have another pot "boiling".
