Good for you for taking the time to do the work. To do the self-introspection. And also for giving yourself time to process all of this, for treating yourself with love and patience.
Those kittens sound so cute! I wish I wasn't allergic. But you enjoy them!
Michelle - Proud DR Rockette S: 28JUL07, D'd: 29OCT09 http://tinyurl.com/27j9qo2
I hate the SG. I really do. I didn't think it was possible to shed any more tears over this, but once again...
So I tell him today to take the car back. I don't want any ties to him. I don't want to continue to pay for his debt. I feel good about this decision, because the fact is I have been too much of a doormat. I don't want to be that person anymore. I want to take back myself.
He has the audacity to try to make me feel guilty. Now, I know this is him lashing out and attacking me because he is feeling attacked, but I don't care. Trying to tell me I made him marry me. Um hello, don't have a gun...didn't you ask me to marry you?
And then it made me feel all over again that he never really did love me, that the whole thing was a sham. It broke my heart all over again that someone could be that careless with someone else's feelings, not care, and then wonder why they hate him.
The nerve of him! I am so mad, so hurt, and so pissed at myself for allowing him to still piss me off! I need a drink. And a cigarette. Or a joint. Or something. I just want this to stop. This is exactly the reason why I don't want to have any contact with him. It's like a slap in the face...you pushed me into marrying you when you knew that I didn't want to but I wanted to marry this woman that I am married to now.
And then he wanted to hint that I had a relationship with someone else! "We both started relationships with other people." I was like WTF are you talking about? I have not had a relationship with anyone.
Shaking head...I know he is doing this to piss me off. And I know I am letting him. Dammit. Foiled again.
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
Ok, wait a minute. Deep breath. Hoooooolllldddd itttt......release.
A little better?
WTH set him off into this tangent of 'you made me marry you'? WTF? As if that were even possible. It's not like you he had to marry you for immigration status or anything, is it? He's claiming you had a R with someone while you were M'd? Again.....where the heck does he get his distorted info?
What words did you use when telling him you want him to take the car back? Is it in his name and you are paying the debt because of the BK or what? How do you get it back to him and get your name off of it?
One last thing to take care of and get all contact over with.....forever! Do it! Find a way. This man is completely toxic and is no good for your spirit honey.
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
My name is not on the car. It is solely in his name. I can't register it here because he has not given me the paperwork. In order to get the paperwork, I will have to hound him, and I don't want do continue to have contact with him. Also, there is nothing in the divorce decree that says he cannot take it from me, just that he is supposed to sign it over to me when the payments are done. Therefore, if he wanted to take it he could, and in light of recent developments, I don't trust him at all.
So I sent an email stating that, in a business like mature matter, and that is where it all started. I told him that I did not want to be responsible for his debt. I am not exactly sure how it led to the fact that he had an affair, and that he ended up marrying her, and that I was having another relationship, blah blah blah, but it did. I think it was that he threw at me that of course everything was my fault, I got us into debt (that was his ex wife), I guilted him into marrying me (he forgot that I did ask him several times if he was sure he was ready), and that he swore that he did not have an affair.
I know this is toxic. I got into the car and just started bawling all over again. This is why I want him to take the car, because this is just one more link that I don't need. I told him it was because I was going to cut all ties with him, and this was a tie, therefore he could take it.
It is wrapped into the bankruptcy. I dont mind paying my half, but not this car. Not his house. Not anymore.
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
I just want him to take the car. that's it. I want to be done with him. After that, there is no reason for me to have any contact with him at all.
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
LolaL, I'm sorry for your painful day. He certainly pushes the ol' buttons, doesn't he?
Try not to give him so much power over you If the car is not in your name and you don't want any part of it, you could simply park in front of his place and leave it. Of course, I don't remember whether X is close-by or far away.
Originally Posted By: LolaL
This is exactly the reason why I don't want to have any contact with him. It's like a slap in the face..
Then, please, stop. Go dark.
Read The Four Agreements. Then reread it. Keep reading it. I can't recommend it enough.
Peace to you tonight, friend.
Gardener
"My soul, be satisfied with flowers, With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them In the one garden you may call your own." Cyrano deBergerac
Mish, Yeah, I remembered that after I posted. Still, there are people and services who will drive your car long distances for a fee. New York, New England and other state 'snowbirds' use them all the time.
I say just send him the damned car.
Gardener
"My soul, be satisfied with flowers, With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them In the one garden you may call your own." Cyrano deBergerac
You know what Gardener that is a really good idea. I am going to look into that, and see how much it would be to just have someone drive it across the country. But in the long run, I don't think he really wants the car. It will probably go back to the bank.
He does know how to push the buttons, and I was prepared for that, but it still hurt. I am proud to say this time, I did not back down. I was not going to be guilted into this. That was me three years ago.
I am a different woman now.
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
