I hate the SG. I really do. I didn't think it was possible to shed any more tears over this, but once again...

So I tell him today to take the car back. I don't want any ties to him. I don't want to continue to pay for his debt. I feel good about this decision, because the fact is I have been too much of a doormat. I don't want to be that person anymore. I want to take back myself.

He has the audacity to try to make me feel guilty. Now, I know this is him lashing out and attacking me because he is feeling attacked, but I don't care. Trying to tell me I made him marry me. Um hello, don't have a gun...didn't you ask me to marry you?

And then it made me feel all over again that he never really did love me, that the whole thing was a sham. It broke my heart all over again that someone could be that careless with someone else's feelings, not care, and then wonder why they hate him.

The nerve of him! I am so mad, so hurt, and so pissed at myself for allowing him to still piss me off! I need a drink. And a cigarette. Or a joint. Or something. I just want this to stop. This is exactly the reason why I don't want to have any contact with him. It's like a slap in the face...you pushed me into marrying you when you knew that I didn't want to but I wanted to marry this woman that I am married to now.

And then he wanted to hint that I had a relationship with someone else! "We both started relationships with other people." I was like WTF are you talking about? I have not had a relationship with anyone.

Shaking head...I know he is doing this to piss me off. And I know I am letting him. Dammit. Foiled again.

Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..