Re-Connecting

[Fightingforher]

So do I turn her down if she tries????

[Puppy Dog Tails]

Yep.

[Fightingforher]

Ok, I will take your advice and if she does try I will refrain. It should be interesting when I get home.

[Puppy Dog Tails]

Tell her "Considering everything that's going on right now, I don't think that would be such a good idea."

When you go home, be sure to be on your BEST behavior. Civil, courteous, even-keeled. Do NOT let her pick a fight with you, and do not yourself engage in any angry outbursts, even if provoked.

You're Jesus, and you are to turn the other cheek. If SHE becomes rude, or disrespectful, or beins screaming at you, then you calmly say "I won't talk to you when you're being rude. When you've calmed down, and can discuss this like mature adults, we can continue this," and then turn and WALK AWAY.

And if she HITS you . . . call the cops. Seriously.

Puppy

[TimeHeals]

When you go home, be sure to be on your BEST behavior. Civil, courteous, even-keeled. Do NOT let her pick a fight with you, and do not yourself engage in any angry outbursts, even if provoked.

And she probably will try to provoke you at some point. Mine is still trying to do it, and she moved out and filed for divorce over a month ago.

[Puppy Dog Tails]

Ok, so I need some advice. I just got an email from my W saying the following: I'm curious how I should respond to this.


W email to me......

"S . . .I want you to know that I am not dating or sleeping with anyone. I do talk to people and I know you are not comfortable with that. . . "

Just so that we're impeccably clear here, FFH, I wanted to circle back on this, and maybe help you understand some moral clarity here:

If your wife would be ok with her husband seeing (or hearing) ALL of her 'talking' with her male friend, then its content is appropriate. ANYTHING SHE SAYS TO HIM SHOULD BE ABLE TO BE SAID IN YOUR PRESENCE.

If, however, she would NOT be comfortable with it -- either because it's sexual, or just flirtatious, or if it's intimate details about the problems in your marital relationship -- then it is AN EMOTIONAL AFFAIR.

For a MUCH better, more thorough explanation of all of this, I'd strongly suggest you read Shirley Glass's excellent book, "NOT Just Friends." It is the definitive work on emotional affairs, and their destructive effects.

Puppy

[Puppy Dog Tails]

FFH, for what it's worth, I just spent the last 40 minutes re-reading every single post of your entire 21-page thread.

Puppy

[CPCajun]

So, how do you suggest I tackle this. Your saying this is just another stage the WAW goes through and it's expected.

Yep -- BINGO. I can predict almost word-for-word what they will say at this point, I've seen it so often. It's similar to -- when you expose -- them saying "Now you've done it! Now you've blown ANY CHANCE you had with me! I WAS thinking of getting back TOGETHER with you, but now YOU'VE BLOWN IT!!"

Blah, blah, blah.

Puppy

Holy crap, my wife said the exact same thing to me when she wanted to separate and I was desperate to get back together. ...Word for Word....

[Fightingforher]

This is so much information to digest but i really do appreciate it all.

I got home from the gym and my son and her are not here. I pulled up the key logger on the pc and I saw all the emails that she had sent to me. During all of those emails she was also emailing OM.

Ironically the emails to him were very innocent (first time I caught emails on keylogger). I was actually surprised, not sure what the text messages are like though. He was very empathetic to her but what caught my eye was my W telling me she doesn't want a D. Telling OM she has to get out of here, she is going crazy.

Very contradicting, almost as if she is looking for the additional attention from OM. Not sure what games she is playing but I took the "I don't want a D" with a grain of salt. I also noticed that she has been looking for a place to live.

I never responded to any of her messages/emails. I would imagine she is upset about that but I can't fall for this stuff any longer. Not sure what to do next.......

[Greek]

Duplicity.

FFH, No contact = no contact, even if it's innocent. Plus, she's either lying to him or you. Either way, who are you married to?

My advice is ... tell her to go. Tell her you know that she is still commisserating with OM, that she still wants to leave and you have decided that you agree. She should go. Very calmly hand her the number to the Residence Inn and tell her to go now - it's one thing you both agree on. She can pick the rest of her stuff up when she's found a place.

Then go start dinner for your little guy. Because life goes on.
Greek