It's all about control. Up until now, she's mostly felt like she's been in control of the endgame, and -- again, make no mistake -- this includes her IMAGE thru the potential dissolution of your marriage.
When you exposed -- and then today, with that truth dart just sent -- you indicated that you weren't going to play her game. So now she's trying to re-establish the previous relationship equilibrium -- her power -- thru whatever means she thinks will WORK. When you don't respond to one, she tries another.
Don't worry -- "I don't want to divorce" is not a position, IF SERIOUS, that will be swiftly taken off the table. If she is SINCERE in that, you will have PLENTY of opportunities to make the proper response to it (which, btw, is "That's good to hear. End your affair, and agree to full no-contact and full-transparency, and some good MCing with someone who specializes in this stuff, and let's get to work.")
