How the hell are ya!? So glad to see you back on the boards. I'm sorry for the trauma your wife is experiencing, but I do believe you two have made significant strides. It may not FEEL that way, but if your wife is in counseling and she is willing to face her demons... hey, that's one heck of a lot farther that where you were.
I can tell you from personal experience, as I was molested as a child myself, that I understand what it means to seperate sex from intimacy. For your wife to open herself up to you and make herself vulnerable during sex is counter-intuitive for her. It would be like you trying to convince yourself to willing lay your hand down on a hot stove.
When the two of you begin to get sexually intimate, I could well imagine that she feels utterly 'overwhelmed.' I bet she either shuts down completely (unless drunk), or she tips over into a rage. Either sound familiar?
This is going to be a tough one for you to deal with. What does your counselor say about the sexual hiatus? Does he/she support that? Does he/she have a plan for reintroducing sex into your lives? Do you have any thoughts on how you will wade into this with her?
