First off I'd like to say "hi" to everyone. I have been away from the site for a bit travelling and working on "stuff."
Anyway, the bottom line in my sex-starved-marriage seems to be this: Through therapy my wife has learned that she is not over the sexual abuse she suffered as a child/teen. Until a couple of days after we got married she was able to have a very active sex life because she kept intimacy and sex seperate (which seems to be pretty common with victims of childhood abuse). Now, since she loves me so much, she cannot fathom the idea of having physical intimacy or sex with me. At the recommendation of one of the books she is reading, we are on a "sexual vacation" (I thought we were already on one) for an indefinite period of time. She refuses to read or take seriously the advice in SSM since she is dealing with abuse and she can't "just do it." I understand all this stuff and I feel bad for her but I am pretty far from "ok" with my sex life. I realize that what she has had to endure was hard on her and what she is dealing with now is tough too. However, don't you think there could be a way to deal with this stuff that would be healthy for both of us? The unilateral termination of sex on her part equates to emotional and physical abuse for me. Any ideas?
