You all seem to agree that I'm not being unreasonable asking him to call before he comes and "visits". I do agree that he is upset that D didn't see him on FD and in general for not being able to see her at his convenience, because she has a busy teenage life and there is not much room for an absentee "dad". I know that few times he would want to see her but she would decline, had to work or study for her finals or had plans with friends. He probably felt that the only way he can see her is if he barges into the house.
When we were at the counselors we talked about him seeing her more often. He said "well she is a teenager....you don't spend any time with her either". I said yes I do, every day....I have meals with her, I drive her everywhere. I spend quality time at the stables with her, I'm there when she has friends over, cook for them...(clean after them lol). I'm the one that she comes to when she wants to talk.....yes I'm big part of her life. And he has to schedule an appointment with her to see her....it was his choice to leave...what did he expect? Probably didn't think this through and now the reality hit him hard and as usual he takes it out on me.
You know a month ago I would have been crushed and would cry over yesterday's exchange...today....I was upset with him, but I'm OK, didn't bring me down....he is being an as* right now, but I try to look at it from his side, and see how desperately he is in trying to keep some kind of balance in his life....fighting for control.
We, his family, are still his anchor, if he consciously realizes it or not...and he feels that he is loosing that and is trying to hang on.
M53 H54 D17 M33Y T38Y Bomb OW 09/09 OUT 10/09 BACK 11/09 OUT 01/10 WANTS TO R 04/10 BACK with OW 05/10 Wants to Reconcile 05/11 I said NO
