Sorry, I am kind of emotioinal at the moment. I didn't think you were attacking me, but I am just trying to understand how to proceed at the moment. All I want is for us to get back together. I must be kind of slow. What do you think I need to hash out with myself? The level of involvement I really want with my kids? What I am looking for in a relationship?
You're right. I probably haven't owned-up to everything I have done, but I really did think things were ok and I believe I have been a pretty good father. I have done more with my kids than either of our parents did with us. She has issues with the lack of interest her parents gave to her and her sister, while they were all about the boys and their sporting events. I think she overcompensates for that by doing everything with/for the kids. We could rarely go out together for 10 years because no one was good enough to watch her kids, including me. I also think she is projecting her feelings about her parents lack of involvement onto my kids and their feelings for me. Now I am crying again. I haven't gotten anything done at work for days. Thank you for trying to help me. I just feel so desperate.
I'm sorry you had to miss-out on the rollercoaster rides with your kids. Mine were very special. My wife and I love those too and my son is waling right in my footsteps there, but my daughter isn't really that into them. Maybe a bit too young yet. My son and I stayed at the theme park after the rest of family and friends left to ride late night when we could ride over and over again. We rode the "Batman" at Six Flags 6 times without having to even get off the ride. It was great. He couldn't take it anymore and kept saying "It's time to leave!!" I told him that me and his uncle used to ride and ride until the park closed. We had a great time. He now loves what he used to call "upside-downs". It used to be if there were too many, he wouldn't go on the ride. A great place to go for riding is Bush Gardens in Tampa if you get the chance. No line = lots of rides on some great rollercoasters. I hope you get the chance again.
Sorry to keep asking this, but can/should I apologize for past mistakes while trying to utilize the Last Resort technique, or is that considered pursuing?
If I've read your thread correctly, you already HAVE??
I'd apologize for things only ONCE, and then move on. When confronted by her again with your past sins, say "I've already acknowledged my contributions to the dysfunction in our marriage, and have even asked for your forgiveness. And I'm working very hard to improve myself in these areas, whether that ends up being for us or just because it's the right thing to do for me as a person. But I'm not going to keep letting you badger me about my faults, because it serves no purpose. If you stop this flight of yours, and come back to our marriage, I think you'll find me ready and willing to work on all issues -- even mine."
See how the above is STRONG. Repeated apologies are supplicating and WEAK, and she won't respect them.
