"You have not tried to work at our marriage without the influence of a third person in it. Whatever the extent of your feelings for OM (and I don't believe for a minute that you're "just friends"), any good individual counselor worth their salt (note I said INDIVIDUAL counselor, nevermind MARRIAGE counselors) will tell you that you OWE IT TO YOURSELF to make such potentially life-changing decisions WITHOUT the influence of a third person."
She either does not understand, or is choosing to ignore, the physiological influence that this other man is having on her brain and her decision-making and her emotions right now.
