WAW EA told her to leave

[AJM]

Hey Danger - I applaud your intelligence and methodical approach. You are very good. But I would like to offer some caution I had from my own experience.

What you've done sounds to me like you practicing conditional love and unconditional. Confusing to you and to her I'm sure. On the other hand, you back away well which is a good thing.

I don't think what you are doing is wrong because you obviously love her very much. You also have a lowered self-esteem from the sound of it. I can tell you from my own experience that my stbx played a similar game. I did similar things, and in the end she was just interested in appeasing her conscience to make herself feel like she could look back and say she tried. Be wary of that. This is a marathon and not a sprint.

Saying that I feel I should suggest that you quickly spend as much time as possible finding what it is that recharges you and only you. Focus on you. Focus on you. I said it twice because it is that important. No matter what else you do, you very much need to focus more on you and not be her caretaker as much as you can help it. She needs to feel the consequences of her actions and sooner than later. I'm not suggesting you should be mean and nasty. I'm suggesting you detach more and let her decide if she is staying or not. And not for the guilt she seems to feel right now.

Make sense?

AJ