Puppy, Coach...advice..anyone...Need a quick answe

[ninelives]

Hey Swimming:

I've been following your thread and I feel for you BIG TIME. Lucky you have Coach and Greek on your flank helping you through, they are some of the best. Incidently, I feel connected to these two from their call names, i am Greek and coach so many sports but I digress.

I am going through a similar feeling as you in that the ball is not in our court, but they do not hold all the cards, Most of them but not all. You must detach at this point; especially since there is another Person involved. I know how much it hurts to want something so bad and feel that you have little control but that is why you have to focus on the control that you do have.

I felt pretty good about a month ago when I felt i detached and she was doing the chasing. ( I never thought she would as she said she was through with us) but when I took some of her bait and she knew she had me again, she backed off.

I think there is only one way to look at this. If you detach and truly get a life, they will do one of two things. They will either not care in which case you have your answer that there is nothing left to save, or they will take notice and start to come to you. If that happens, this is the tricky part. How do you let them back without being too vulnerable where they can sense it. Then they feel like they have control again and the cycle of the game continues.



I hate that this sounds like a game as I HATE playing games but it seems that is what we are faced with. Its too bad you cannot sit them down and have a heart to heart where there is open honest dialogue but it seems that their mind is in a kind of fog and this doesn't allow for this type of communication. Add to the fact that they are often very confused and honestly don't know what they really want.

Bottom line I think at this stage is to stick to your guns when you say something. Other Women means there can be no marriage;
period. You are too good to share them.

I do support you as many on this board do, but you have to take a stand soon and show him that you mean bussiness.