Believe nothing they say and only half of what you see when it comes to the WAW right ??
God I hope this is true. Because yesterday WAW had another "freak out " attack after DD's follow up Dr's appt.
Today is DD's last day of school and the day the living arrangements switch to every other week for the kids. There was still a TON of stuff that had to be gone over regarding household property and such. Well, after about 5 mins of a polite conversation I apparently stepped on a landmine ( damn blindfold ) and she went bonkers again !! Beating her fists on the top rail of my pick up bed, screaming about how " you did this to me " , " you ruined 14 years of my life !"( length of our relationship), "every thing your doing ( my changes and 180's) is tearing out another piece of my heart !" ( so she's noticing, just not in a good way ), " Just move on !!!"
She eventually wound up shoving me in the chest three times, of course I didnt even raise my hands, then collapsed in the parking lot crying hysterically. All of this was witnessed by DD who is going on 6. She finally got up, got in MY other pickup she still is driving and left. Of course DD wanted to know what I did that made mommy so upset and why she pushed me.
Later last night, whats going to happen hit DD pretty tough, she started crying, upset about alot of things, that I wouldnt be there at night to tuck her in, "why cant you and mommy just get over this so we can be a family again " ??? TORE MY HEART OUT when all this happened with DD.
Something is SERIOUSLY wrong with WAW's mental state. Not sure what but it sure looks like a breakdown of some kind. The thing is she does a great job of putting on a front for the most part, but even an inadvertant misstep in a conversation that she perceives as being about "us" and she explodes. Problem is I have NO idea whats "safe" to bring up and whats not, since some of the things have no connection to anything about "us".
The DYFS case worker has been advised, and is mandating a psych eval for WAW. She seemed pretty confident that the eval would reveal something, even if her "trigger" ( me) wasnt present.
Then DD starts her counseling sessions next Weds. The format is essentially for all of of us, focused on the DD, but the appointment broken up into individual one on one blocks of time. Im really at the point of being alarmed and scared for the WAW, obviously I cant just stop caring about her, regardless of whats going on.
The thing is, the WAW's reactions have gotten progressively WORSE and MORE violent as time has gone on from the beginning of May when this all started. Validation, not disagreeing with even the most skewed of her claims, compassion, empathy, etc. NONE of them have worked in the way so many books and articles suggest they would.
I really am at a loss.................
ETA. Ran yesterdays incident past the neighbor that was trying to help facilitate clear communications between us and she is still reading it as that WAW is struggling terribly with what she has done and second guessing herself for walking and maybe coming around to the realization that my changes are for real and she feels trapped somehow and the extreme anger is a manifestation of this and or guilt. I dunno..........
