My game has changed from WAW to EA/PA HELP!!

[CD Bear]

OOH! Look at Mr Clever!

That wouldn't have crossed my mind (remember, it's mostly Jell-O)

I'll try to slide that in for the weekend.

Thank you so much. It's my weekend "off" but I might accidentally drop in after golf, or something.

[CD Bear]

Hi everyone.
I almost posted a miserable, depressing entry a few hours ago. I ran out of energy at work. i just did a few things and surfed around this site. Just directionless.

Got home to an empty house and really didn't know what to do with myself.

So when she rolls up, she wants to show me the new tires for her truck (we had to pay 600 prorated warranty). So after she baths D, she asks me whats on her back. I said it looked like an irritated pimple. An old routine of hours. So she's inviting me to touch her.

Then asks to borrow a smoke. I stay upstairs but I hear her talking about the trees from the deck. Sounds like an invitation. I go. We chat about the improvements to the course again, She says this place will be really nice in 5-10 years (So? We won't be here on your plan)

Then she and D get ready for bed, She comes out twice for inane reasons. (ege, Is my 7Up out there? Is the Bachelorette on?) and comes over each time.

She gets up to leave and there's a sticker (D's) stuck to her pj's. So I say "Come her. Got something on you" I pick it off the back of her leg and play it down "Wouldn't want it to wind up in D's hair" Yaeh, she says.

Then, back again to lift her shirt to show the little surgery scars. "See, their getting better, I think. Do yoy think the color will fade? See but this one has a bump in it" She comes over so I can feel them. (Remember, these are laproscopy scars at the beltline.)Then she's talking about her weight getting a little too light. "Nicole said I should come with her to the gym but it would be a waste of money. But I should do something"(I had told her a few times in the past that I would show her how to use the Bowflex) So I say "The offer is still open." She complains about the extra skin and stretch marks she still has and the effort she wasted on the creams because D grew so quickly in the last month she got some anyway. (She went from 128 to 200 at childbirth)Keeps her shirt up while she complains.

Lastly, she starts off on how she looked at co-op housing; how to get on the list; the max payment she'd have. I said, "that's nice but still renting. But definitely affordable."

then she brings up the guy who no-one believs is the OM. "he just sent a text saying he just feel down 8 stairs at home. Landed right at the door of his condo neighbor" Well, I thought this guy lived in a 4 plex not a condo building, I must have an old address from the phone book. But his last name was NOT at the hotel in Edm (though there are others in the vicinity of the mall)

I've asked for some 'help" from a friend to gain access to her cell account details.

I'm going to shop for a month by month GPS phone to watch her truck.

I am not going to do anything with the Do-it-yourself Divorce Kits. She wants it; she can fill it out and slug through all the financial, property, and legal mud. That'll make it never happen.

I have to "make boundary decisions" as events arise.

I have also noticed that she is spitting when she smokes and burping like a trucker. She used to do it "a little" when we first met. But it's really irritating me. After the third one tonight, I said "What did you eat?" She says "Yep, a princess"

But can anybody tell me what all these actions mean? I'm not sure I can see cause/effect in anything I did other than say "OK" when she said she'd bring home papers.

AM I missing something?

[twolf]

MY stbxw acted just like this when she was hitting me up for money so she could get an appartment.

Being nice talkin kind of flirting then a couple of days later you know if i had a 2k i could get an appartment bs .

When i told her no that we have a perfect house and i will not support you leaving or home. She blew up i think that is what your wife is looking for !

she is working the O/M into the stich .

She even told be if i couldnt help her out with the money she would have to move in with O/M To be able to have a place to stay.


You know she is now living with her mom and the O/M is still living with his parent att 33.

Sounds so familar.

The weight thing she was probley looking for you to say something positve because the O/M does.

[CD Bear]

Interesting.
Thanks for the perspective.

Can you imagine how erratic our behaviour would be if we didn't have this board for support and "other eyes"?

[twolf]

Dude if you only new I didnt have a drink in three years but the first three months i was a mess.

[elvencat]

Interesting.
Thanks for the perspective.

Can you imagine how erratic our behaviour would be if we didn't have this board for support and "other eyes"?

I don't know about you, but my behavior still gets erratic!

[CD Bear]

Oh, no. I'm a frikkin yo-yo but in comparison to where I WOULD be without this "sounding board"? I shudder to think that most people I know would be having me committed without this board.
Simply "slowing down enough to write it out and wait for a response" is half the battle, buddy.

[twolf]

Gosh dang CD your stich sounds like mine i keep re reading wht you said about her comin out of D bedroom and asking about things.

From my stich she is texting or talkin to the O/M and checking to make shure where you are at.

[CD Bear]

I'm hoping an expert can help me decide whether she is "asking for help" or "showing me what I'm losing" or "trying to soften my shell"

No idea. Could also be another smoke screen. I couldn't know less about what is going on. All I can control is me so I just have to keep trying to learn FACTS rather than interpretations.
I have to try to see objectively rather than subjectively; like it was happening to someone else or I was watching it on TV.

And get MY LIFE together and hope she eventaully gets it. Or she doesn't.

And I can't make any attempts at accepting her outreaches (if that's what they are) until I know ther is NO AFFAIR.

[CD Bear]

2W, if this was yesterday and she still had "evidence" from the weekend in the truck, I'd see your view dead on. But I checked it and it was clean. Although NO sign of the sex shop stuff is just as worrying.

Used and thrown out. Or, worse, it WAS Amanda's birthday so if she was doing something for K, then maybe K got her a belated gift. I did include the game Truth or Dare. And there was now nothing going on and i over-reacted. I know, extremely remote but......

Even worse and NO solution is she's gay?! yaeh. My brain has gone there, too